First of all, I need to make a clarification on my last post. I am, in-fact, an adult and can fully decide whether I wear a hat and am able take care of myself adequately. I at least haven’t died after more than 26 years; I am in fact quite healthy. The last post was meant tongue-in-cheek and wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously. The last thing I want to do is make people worry about my well-being. Ira has been an invaluable help to me in this country and has nothing but my best interests in mind.

It is kind of funny and completely unrelated, but another thing I was planning on writing about is the absurdity of life in this country, for those who don’t live here or experience it, it can sometimes be hard to explain. Another volunteer Robert Henderson visited me last weekend and this was one topic that came up. We recently lost several group members who decided for different reasons to go home before the service was finished. I didn’t hear all of their reasons so I wont’ try to go into them. But one thing Rob and I talked about is the ability to accept some absurdities in life as we spend time in this country and not allow them to affect us so much we lose the ability to function. At the same time I think it is healthy to keep noticing them, which helps keep us sane as well. These absurdities can stretch from the extreme daily like riding on buses that were built and have been in service since way before either us were born as far as well can tell, to students cheating in school and the complete lack of ability to do anything about it to at first seeing people starting to drink at eight in the morning and think it completely crazy to coming to accept it is part of the country here.

If we get too tied up in worrying about these absurdities of life here, we won’t be able to handle it. The best thing we can do is recognize them for what they are and just allow it to be part of our experience. It is important to remember that as PCVs we are supposed to learn from other cultures as well as impart our knowledge on them as well. One thing I have seen before in other volunteer blogs of those who have been here longer than me is that they run out of the crazy stories to tell after awhile because it all just seems normal anymore. That hasn’t happened to me yet completely, but there are plenty of things I don’t worry about quite as much anymore as I used to.

Case in point is marshrutkas, there is almost always room for at least one more person on them and riding a half-hour half bent over to get to my destination is just an accepted part of travel here. I still laugh about it occasionally. If people were to visit it might seem crazy and possibly even completely uncoordinated. I, however, love them because they can get me almost anywhere in this country even though I don’t have a car and are relatively cheap and fast. Revel in the absurdities you can’t control, manage the ones you can and remember another PC goal is to impart knowledge when you can and people are willing. Just remember things are often the way they are because they do work best that way. A lesson I learned long ago is don’t touch stuff just cause you think you can make it work better; there is a good chance it is the way for a reason.

This is where I say again I am speaking only for myself and all opinions are my alone and do not represent Peace Corps or the United States Government. It’s time talk a little about religion. Last time I was Kyiv for a meeting I picked up a book titled “The Journey of Desire” by John Eldridge. I was first introduced to the author when I read another book of his titled “Wild at Heart.” I don’t often see books on religion in the office, most of the books are basic fiction paperbacks, yet even they still get read, any halfway good books get snatched up pretty quick to go back to sites and get read, and my faith here has admittedly been a bit of a roller coaster. Part of me has hidden behind the idea that PC is governmental so I need to be careful with how I display my faith and also the time I have used to really explore what faith truly means to me. I’m still early in the book so I will have more later, but what has spoken to me so far is this idea that Christianity is all about desire. It’s a little more complicated than that, but there is a basic idea that humans know there is something more than the life we have at the moment and desire something more and better.

What I have read so far has me with some success and some places that need more work. I still have that desire for things, I am not that complacent or I don’t think I would have taken the rather big step in joining the Peace Corps and leaving everything that was familiar. I still don’t know exactly what I desire, but I’m definitely not without desire. But it also pointed out some potential fallacies in how I pray. Part of praying is me wanting or needing things and expressing them. I had fallen into this idea that I shouldn’t be asking for things, but rather for just guidance. I think that the truth lies somewhere in between. The tough part is not going overboard in the desires and wrong directions in desires. But having weak and non-existent desires is just as dangerous. I still have a ways to go in the book, so I’ll see if it continues the way it is, so far I have enjoyed it. I just know already that my experience here will not allow me to just accept faith and religion as it has been back in the states. There is more out there and it is a much more exciting life and world that our traditions and self-imposed laws don’t allow us to explore and enjoy.